Letterbox – Indepentional

Thank you to CerinLevel3 from reddit for this writing prompt – https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/64thcm/wp_a_love_letter_is_slipped_under_your_door_at/


“Hey Benny, I told you to stop moving my mail around.”

“Screw you, I didn’t move anything.”

“Then why did I find a weird love-letter by the closet instead of the door?”

“Maybe there’s a stalker living in your closet, hehe.”

“That’s not very funny, Benny.”

“It is for people without a stick up their ass.”

“I’ll let that go. If you need me, I’ll be down at the office. There’s no return address or anything on this letter, and it can’t be for me.”

“Maybe it’s for me then, give it here.”

“I didn’t know you played soccer, Benny.”

“That’s because I don’t.”

“The letter mentions my name and says the person was really impressed by my ‘Football’ skills.”

“Ah, apologies ‘David Beckham’.”

“Benny…”

“Yeah yeah, sorry for real this time. Smell ya later.”

– – –

“You’re lucky I was held up by a computer problem or I’d have closed down for the day by now.”

“Sorry for taking your free-time then, Mrs Daunton. It’s just a simple question.”

“Just let me save this and I’ll be right over, David. Damn machine is so slow today.”

“I got a letter in today that can’t be for me, but it’s got no return address or stamp.”

“It has your name on the front.”

“It also mentions my amazing ‘Football’ skills at some soccer match in a german-sounding town.”

“Ooooh. Well, let me check the ledger. Maybe some info got lost. Huh.”

“Huh?”

“We did not receive any letters for you since the one from your mother 2 weeks ago.”

“Error in your filing system.”

“I can’t believe that, Edgar was on duty until I arrived an hour ago. He’s meticulous to a fault. We did not receive nor deliver a letter to you.”

“How did it get into my room then?”

“Any open windows?”

“It’s mid-February, so no.”

“Well Mr Beckham, I can’t explain it so you’ll just have to figure it out on your own. If you’ll excuse me, I have work to finish.”

“Can’t you take it and throw it out or something?”

“If I did every minute task people asked of me, I’d still be cleaning my parent’s house. Good day, Mr Beckham.”

“Hey David, what did you find out about that letter?”

“Benny? Nothing, Mrs Daunton said they didn’t receive anything for me.”

“I wonder what she’d tell me then.”

“That you need to do your homework.”

“Ha ha, Beckham. I got a letter too.”

“What? Let me see that.”

“See, same font on the addressee, same lack of return address.”

“Found by the closet?”

“By the closet.”

“Well, that’s weird.”

“I say we check it out. Someone’s playing a trick on us.”

“Good plan. Wait.”

“What?”

“Don’t tell me your bat is in the closet.”

“I haven’t put it back in after practice.”

“Good. We might need it.”

“Well, I’ve got it now. You got the letters?”

“Roger dodger.”

“No-one says that.”

“I do. Ready with the bat?”

“Yeah yeah, just open the fucking closet.”

“Right right. Anyone hiding in the back!?”

“Hold on, haven’t gotten to the back yet. I forgot how big your closet is.”

“What do you mean, how big? It’s just a closet.”

“Well, get in here, see for yourself.”

“Right, make room.”

“No need, there’s plenty. Where’s that blue light coming from?”

“Did you forget a blue rave-stick in here or something?”

“Come over here, there’s like a door.”

“You must have gotten turned around, there’s no door inside my closet. But then again, it’s not normally this big.”

“Hey, the door’s got a handle. It’s not locked either.”

“Well, keep the bat handy, Benny, let’s see who’s playing a prank on us.”

“Uhm David, you might want to see this.”

“Oh. That is not what I expected.”

“Oh, you didn’t expect a massive letter-factory inside your closet? What a surprise.”

“Cool it, you didn’t either. Hold up, are those people?”

“Oh shit, one of them is looking at us.”

“Hey, you two! What’re you doing on the factory floor?”

“Nothing sir, we just found a door in our closet!”

“Don’t tell him that Benny, he’ll think we’re insane!”

“Don’t shout at me, what the fuck else am I supposed to say?”

“Hold up, hold up, you found a door in your closet?”

“I know it sounds weird, but yeah. Oh, and two letters addressed to our names with no return address.”

“Lemme see. David Beckham?”

“No relation. And I haven’t even touched a soccer ball for months.”

“It’s called a football. But okay, I see what happened. Someone cocked up, forgot the Earth address.”

“Earth address?”

“And on top of that, the clunk forgot to close the Door after him. Well, if you two just go back through the Door, I’ll make sure to close it and get these to their proper owners.”

“Uhm, thank you mister?”

“Armstrong. No relation. Now off with you two, I’ve got work to do.”

“…”

“Uh, David?”

“Yes Benny?”

“Can we even tell anyone what we just saw?”

“People would say we had smoked something. Let’s just leave it. And get out of my closet, it’s really cramped now.”

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